Crazy dream
Last night was a pretty shitty night with brad. Shitty than usual. All we did was yell and scream at each other saying nothing good to one another. He pretty much said he didnt want me here, and what I’m going through is nothing. He said I needed to try harder n getting my job. Getting along with my parents, and all this other bullshit that I’m just not trying hard enough. I’m doing my best, and look at him he’s hasnt been putting forth any effort himself in getting a job. Wee all know thats going to bite him in the ass, but god forbid he listen to anyone but himself. Argh! Its enough to drive a person mad! He had some people over last night, he didnt tell me until I was on my way home from going out to eat with ryan at helens. Which is always fun, I miss him being around, but college is a must and I respect that completely.
Well I dont like the people he had over, and he knows that. So obviously I get cranky cuz whenever I go out for a lil bit he decides “they just happened to stop over”. I’m not stupid, have em over just tell me in advance so I know not to come home at all. I know it sounds harsh, but it true. He doesnt like my friends, so whats the point in meeting them? I wish everyone would just get along, but that never works. My friends were a problem in my last relashonship too, which blows. Cuz I know how its all going to end up. I respect his friends when they come over, but I dont exactly try to be around them. He always told me he was bad news and never did any good to him. And just last night he told me his cuz was already trying to fuck him over. Suprise suprise and yet he doesnt understand why I wont be around them? And men think women are difficult! ha thats a joke.
I didnt sleep at all last night, everytime I tried to go to sleep, brad would come in and try to say sorry and hold me. But I’m just sick of it, leave me alone. And then I got up again, and was just so pissed I went to my parents house for the night. Where I didnt sleep any better. I felt bad, but screw it, he told me he didnt want me here. I know tonight will be a bad night If I come home. But I like it here and wanna stick with him, I still love him to death.
Now that I’m home, I cant leave because the lock on the door is stuck from whoever left last, real great! And the dog shit everywhere on the floor again. Ugh the dog is on my shit list, last night it pissed on my chair and now this. Like really? WTF? Not in my book, I’d beat the shit out of it if it were my animal. And now we cant even take him outside, awesome. It’s going to be a great day.
But for my title as “Crazy Dream” I seriously never believe that your dreams mean anything until now. So last night brad took my pack of smokes from me cuz he was pissed I was like okay. Whatever I’m done, just give me the pack of smokes. Cuz shortly before he had one in his hand and gave me one. Well hes like I hid em. Dont try to find em. I was like okay, were playing childish games now? Awesome! So in my dream I was looking for the pack of smokes in the morning, so I went out on the porch and saw the pack next to the garbage bin. That was all that was to it. Well when I got home, and after falling back asleep, I went out to the porch just to check, normally not believing what dreams are telling me, I did it anyways. And what do you know, they are on they porch right next to the door. I couldnt believe it! I was shocked! So dont think I’m crazy, but I was impressed and a lil scared. lol Well I’ve written enough for now, time to face teh day and see if I get those flowers brad just said he was going to get me!
Toodles
