Easter Sunday
I spent this Easter weekend with my family and friends back home. It was suprisingly nice. Brought josh back to his place early Saturday morning. We ended up having an Easter Egg hunt at joshes place. That was pretty lame lol But it was cute, sorta corny though in a little kid way. But theres still a kid in me somewhere. Then to get the big gift, I had to give joshes grandma a hug and say Happy Easter to her. It was qutie a hoot. Then went home for a bike ride, hung out with Ryan and Jamie, saw a few other friends in Waupun, then went back to joshes for Supper. I also spent a lot of time up at my old Kwik Trip store in Fox Lake… I miss that store soo much!
That was the normal awkward family dinner with the boyfriends rents. Ugh. Josh played the Piano a little bit after supper while me, his mom and grandma looked at old photos of his grandma and relatives from the 1920s. Its amazing how life was soooo different back then. So simple, yet they were happy and look how we live! Sometimes our lives were still like that. It was all so beautiful!
Then went to church with the family, saw a lot of people I used to talk to there. The church has changed quite a bit. It was also interesting. Then spent the night at joshes last night. I felt like crapola. So josh let me sleep in his bed, and he slept on the couch. But he ended up talking to me downstairs for like an hour or so. But it kinda scared me a little bit. Made me wonder where we will be in a couple of months from now…to a year from now. I dont know what to do anymore. Our relashonship is strong. We have no problems, its perfect right now. It couldnt be any better. But we couldnt have met each other at a worse time in our lives. Hes trying to make it in college, and I dont even know where I want to go in life anymore. After getting kicked out, I moved to Madison to be closer to him. But I’m finding this isnt where I belong anymore.
I’ll be coming home this summer to live with my rents, they actually said I could come live at home again. I’m also going to be working in the Fox Lake Kwik Trip. I’m soo excited! I’ll be starting up here again, either may 18th or the 25th. I have never been so excited to work! ha ha But josh thinks this isnt what I really want. But then again… I dont even know what I want. There is another boy. Who I love to death, but hes just my best friend and will always be that way. But sometimes I wish I would have dated someone more like him. I wouldnt be where I am today. I’d probably be a completly different person.
But I truly love the boy I’m with. But I dont know if staying with him will be the best thing anymore. He doesnt know if he will be living up here this summer, or living at home with his rents. While I’ll be at home in Burnett for sure. So if that is the case and hes down here. I wonder if a break wouldnt be such a bad idea for the summer. Just use the time to find ourselves. Figure out if we can make it through all this crap we’ve been going through lately. Hes terrible with his communication skills lately. And well so am I. But he doesnt tell me how he feels til last minute and it makes me nervous! Ugh, wish life was simple again.
So I slept worth crap last night. Couldnt stop thinking about what he said all day today too. This morning I had to go get my aunt and bring her to my place for lunch with my rents. She has been struggling my parents said and her health has been declining. But she tryed to act so strong in front of me. She did well putting on the show. But I’m here to help her. I wish she knew that. I also joke about her being crazy. But really she is a person whos done alot in her life. And I miss her a lot.
Thats all for now, I wrote for much too long. And ryan is waiting for my phone call right now. And the guys are talking really loud in the room. Its quite annoying. lol
Toodles for now.
